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Fantastic Baes and Where to Find Them Vol 1

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Welcome to the Magical World of Baes

What if I told you that I have discovered and formulated the grand unified theory of baes, an algorithm for finding the one you were destined to be with? Now the question of whether the concept of the one is tenable is another thesis. Would you give me the nobel prize for physics? Bae-ology? Would you call me raving mad? I believe for many it would be the latter and you would be right. As far as I know, there is no grand unified theory for finding bae except what I believe is my hypothesis that love alone is not enough. I have searched for bae, thought I found her, dated her, lost her mostly because I am a high functioning sociopath who cant have good things and be satisfied (read: asshole, also guess the tv show reference), at this point I am open to an arranged marriage with contractual stipulations (jk, or am I?) Before I continue, obviously I am a potter head and yes I came up with this after watching the new Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them movie, always thought I was Slytherin but Alas Pottermore says I am Gryffindor! What a long pre-amble! I shall dive in shortly (have to put on my swimming trunks else you don’t want to be looking at my lil pee pee now would you?).

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PSA: Tips to Meeting People Online

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Now I wouldn’t call myself a subject matter expert on meeting people online but I do have a fair amount of friends or acquaintances that are friends or acquaintances because of twitter, instagram, this blog, maybe snapchat and other social media spaces. Fun fact, I once “dated” a girl online for almost 2 years if my memory serves well without ever meeting her. This was in the days of yahoo messenger and myspace before I ever had a Facebook account. I was in Nigeria, she was in the US. We bonded over our mutual love for Eminem. Yes he of Marshall Mather LP. Great rapper but I think I stopped paying attention after Slim Shady Show. I eventually came to the US within this time but we never got to meet. Don’t judge! I was 16, finished secondary school and was bored at home. The cybercafe was my friend and I was applying for colleges.

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Dear APC/PDP Voltrons on Social Media

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Dear Die Hard APC and PDP People who sit on social media (especially twitter) and bully the rest of us when we try to express our somewhat neutral and objective views and who refuse to listen to reason,
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7 Things About #Bringbackourgirls

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We all know that you are probably tired as hell of the topic of the kidnapped girls and just wish they will send Jack Bauer in to rescue the girls, torture Shekau, give him a slow painful death (No, when it comes to that animal I don’t know if I can abide by the Geneva convention or whatever the hell Amnesty International prescribes) and destroy the whole boko haram gang but alas real life is way more complicated than that. I grieve for the families of the young girls and with my fellow Nigerians, I sincerely hope that the girls are found alive and I support #bringbackourgirls and hope for an end to the activities of Boko Haram.

Here are my two cents
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