happy new year

A Way Belated Happy New Year

Posted on Updated on

 

 

my-new-years-resolution-is-to-get-skinny-pretty-and-healthy-while-still-consuming-obscene-amounts-of-alcohol-b5ebf

Hi readers,

I know it is the end of January but better late than never. Happy New Year my people! Hope the year has started well for you. Mine has been cool. Not the most uneventful but I am taking it in stride. Did not really make a resolution but I had a theme for the year, the year of completion. I finish a program I am on at work, collect my masters degree, build my house, maybe finish my belated app project (might be looking for software developers), exorcise the demons in my life and while I am at it maybe I will tie the knot. Who knows?! The theme is completion! Read the rest of this entry »

Advertisements

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

Posted on Updated on

Hi people! I would like to wish everybody a happy new year first of all. I apologize for not posting for the whole month of December. I had a shitload of deadlines and a review at work which kept me unusually busy and a bit anti-social at times. I did write up a few drafts that I am sure you will get to see in the coming weeks and months.

2014 on a personal note was not a bad year. Made some new friends, lost some friends and family (death was not kind in 2014), broke up and got into new relationships, got a new job, moved to a new apartment and also started on the path to becoming a homeowner some day. It was a year that saw me party quite a bit, procrastinate for Africa and fall behind on tithe (10 percent donation to charity/church), 2014 saw me become somewhat spiritually dead and not quite in tune with my relationship with God. Record low church attendance and devotions and meditation was a bit few and far between. I didn’t mess around with prayer though and in many instances God came through for me in 2014 even though I was definitely not worthy. I think in 2014 I put whatever atheist/agnostic leanings I had behind me and became a believer although I do not think I am religious still.

Looking forward to 2015, I am hoping for peace in Nigeria. I hope for a peaceful election that will bring the type of leaders we need to move forward. On a personal note, I hope 2015 would be the last year of single Sir F. I hope to become a homeowner, finish that long overdue masters and excel at work. I plan to blog more, pray more, tithe more, love more, drink less and be a better person.

Anyway, Happy new year folks. So what were the highlights of your 2014 and what do you hope to achieve in 2015? Sharing is caring!

2014 – My Resolution is to be Awesome!

Posted on

This has got to be a prolific few days on the blog. Happy New Year Everyone. I m sure a lot of people are hungover from last night either from the earthly spirits of alcohol or the holy spirit. Either way, you are on point. Welcome to 2014. I spent last night in church and no there was no happy new year kiss, sigh. Yesterday the priest said something about 14 being equal to 2 times 7 and since 7 is the number of spiritual and divine completion this year will be a year of double spiritual and diving completion. If you believe in such say Amen. You made it to another calendar year, pat yourself on the back.

Also to my fellow Nigerians I believe today is amalgamation day, that day the British in their silly colonial way joined Northern and Southern Nigeria together. We have been together for 100 years now. I guess I should add long live Nigeria or something to that effect. If I m not lazy I believe a post on the amalgamation would be in order in the near future.

Anyway back to singing the New Year blues. At the beginning of the year people make resolutions and since I am human and not the perfect specimen you think I am I guess I should follow suit

1. To Live a healthier lifestyle – This includes exercising more (and no, I don’t think bedmatics burn enough calories so not that!) and eating a bit healthier. I am making a realistic goal of working out in some way at least 3 times a week this year and also making sure I have fruit at least 5 times a week.

2. To gist with God a bit more – Well I m setting a goal of saying at least a prayer or having a convo with God once a day, attending church a bit more. At least every Sunday unless something huge happens. Occasional meditations and fasting are in the cards too. Lets see how that goes.

3. Give more – In the last year since I m not much of a tither (awaiting lightening strike cos I owe God a bit) I set approximately that amount of money for charity and as the year ended I hadn’t given the approximately 10% for march till December. This year I am giving myself a similar target, find and give 10% to charity cases I find. Obviously I am not for the giving 10% to clergy bit. Not my thing at all.

4. Corollary to Number 1, Party and Drink in moderation – Now if I said my resolution was to stop drinking completely I know that I would be lying to myself. I currently have a craving for a cocktail I cant shake but I can set a goal of drinking and partying in moderation. Restrict it to weekends and holidays and not party on Saturday cos of church the next day.

5. Procrastinate a lot less and see out my ideas to their logical end – I am a master procrastinator and it does affect my productivity a lot, I leave things to almost the last minute. Definitely a bad habit. I also have the habit of getting an idea and not working on it. I have an idea, I write it down and leave it hanging in the air. Not a good look for an aspiring dollar and pound millionaire or billionaire should I be so blessed.

6. Work on my insecurities, confidence issues and timidity – That’s just a whole mess of things. I am obviously very different from my blog voice which comes across as very confident and blah and blah I have been told. I have this ridiculous modesty thing and dislike for being acknowledged like it would embarrass me that bothers on timidity. I have been told I don’t act like a person that went to school in obodo oyibo. I guess they hand out confidence with overseas degrees. One of the main issues is that I am always in my own head and so I think so much to the point that it paralyzes my body to take action.

7. In related news, I should muse/think less. Like I said above, I think a lot. Some of my thoughts make for decent reading on here but others just leave me with lots of anxiety, insecurity, worry, anger, depression and so on. It is like I calculate every possible outcome of actions I take and words I say so much so that I occasionally get a hot head (nope I m not kidding, my head gets hot).

8. I need a trailer load of patience – Its funny because I sort of have patience but then I don’t. I hate being ignored on chats, I hate when you take a million years to reply my messages. Although I think in 2013 I improved on that front, there is still a way to go. I need to stop looking for instant gratification be it in love, money, possessions and etc. I need to learn to bid my time and not focus on negatives so much that they make me impatient.

9. I need to quit with the temper boiling under thing – I don’t necessarily have a hot temper but sometimes I allow things cook a bit in my mind. I try to give the person an excuse for their stupid behavior and look for alternate explanations all the while the matter is still in my mind and I haven’t confronted the person about it. In 2014 if you piss me off I will tell you. No skirting around the bullshit and being politically correct.

10. I resolve to carefully select my acquaintances, friends, relationships and so on – In 2014, I am getting rid of useless associations and keeping only those relationships that will make me a better person. I will give each d’alliance time to prove itself worthy or else I will axe it. Life is too short to waste on meaningless associations.

Anyway those are my not too short resolutions for 2014. My reading public what resolutions do you have?

2012: The Year the World Didnt End, Bring on 2013!

Posted on

The End of the world
2012: The Year the world didn’t end, 2013: Your Year of…*Insert Pentecostal babble here*

Ladies, Gentlemen and other not so cultured people of the reading public, it’s your favorite or not so favorite fair weather blogger and friendly neighborhood pseudo-writer (Let me indulge myself), Alhaji Saint Sir Farouk the First of Gwara-gwara land and Prince of Zamunda. I know that this time of the year is one of somber reflection and a time to make resolutions and whatnot. I personally prefer to do my Alingo, Azonto and Komole as I gather my thoughts.

If you are reading this, you survived the end of the world or at least the end of the world according to the Mayans.
So Yay you, bring out a bottle of cheap beer or ale and pop in celebration. Clap for yourself, do the hokey pokey and shake your bum bum (cue aptly named Timaya track). 2012 is over. We are now in 2013. I am sure by now you have been inundated with text messages, bbm broadcast, twitter and whatsapp messages as well as phone calls from friends, family, acquaintances and people you barely know. Did I mention also from sketchy hookups of 2012? Yeah, them too. They have no doubt chosen to compose an elaborate Happy New Year’s message in the typical Nigerian fashion that goes like “Happy New Year blah blah, God will grant you blah blah in 2013, joy (I prefer irish spring soap), peace (not piss you big freak!) and blah blah shall never depart from you. 2013 will be your year of *insert appropriate Pentecostal babble here*…” or something of the sort.

That being said and on a quite serious note (think sitting on the toilet trying to squeeze out some constipated waste type of serious), I am thankful for being able to successfully see through the year 2012. 2012 was a good year in many respects. It was the year I got a job. Your boy is no longer a bum. Can I get an Amen or a High five? Both equally symbolic. It was a year I had a stable and peaceful relationship, at least up until May when Le break happened. It was the year I moved back to my beloved Nigeria for what seems to be for good (National anthem plays in the background). It was a year a made quite a number of friends on the internet, in the blogging world, twitter and online dating (yea I have been on some of those sites). It was also the year I had a few pseudo-relationships online and flirtations with people I am yet to meet especially on twitter. It was a year I reconnected with my ex from the longest relationship I have ever had and realized that I still have a thing for every girl I have ever dated but especially this one. In some universe, it would have worked (Drake mode).

It was a year where I got a little bit of more leeway from my parents (still get treated like a kid though but its improving). It was a year that I was somewhat quite religious in the summer then fell off subsequently (Jesus take the wheel!). 2012 was the year where I did the most exercise (picture me jogging and going to the gym) and actually kind of became a fitness freak. In 2012, Konji was at an all-time low and might have been my best year in that department since college. (TMI? Man-whore? Hug transformer). Lastly, In 2012 I survived about 2 situations (that I can remember) that could have led to death (Do I hear you say I have 7 lives left, here’s to not dying in 2013), well for that I thank the big man above, baba God noni.

As for my plans for 2013, I plan to stop procrastinating like a mofo. In 2013 I hope to be a man of action. I need to stop overthinking life and just do things. In 2013, I will work to see my ideas become reality. In 2013, I will be a better friend and keep in touch with people especially family. I plan to workout more in 2013, operation 007 body is in full effect. I plan to moderate my drinking more and my diet. In 2013, I will be a better lover. I will also work to stop being so awkward all the damn time, stop being passive aggressive and learn to say when I’m grieved instead of keeping it all bottled up. In 2013, I hope to have a better relationship with and understanding of God. I will work harder at life and stop trying to coast on whatever innate knowledge I have. I will grow my wealth in 2013. I will mature as a person. 2013 is the year I start a more serious search for the one, I will find my Queen to be in 2013. :), Did I mention I will continue to write!

So that’s it from me folks. Happy New Year!!! I love you all. I wish you only the best in the coming year. So I shared the highlights of my 2012 and what I hope to achieve in 2013. I would love for the bold ones amongst us to share what their 2012 was like and what they hope to achieve in the coming year.


A dap for the guys and a hug for the ladies (frontal please!) from me. See you in the comments!