A Way Belated Happy New Year

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Hi readers,

I know it is the end of January but better late than never. Happy New Year my people! Hope the year has started well for you. Mine has been cool. Not the most uneventful but I am taking it in stride. Did not really make a resolution but I had a theme for the year, the year of completion. I finish a program I am on at work, collect my masters degree, build my house, maybe finish my belated app project (might be looking for software developers), exorcise the demons in my life and while I am at it maybe I will tie the knot. Who knows?! The theme is completion! Read the rest of this entry »


PSA: What’s been up with me, you and the blog?

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This year was not a great year as far as my blog goes. The last time I posted a blog was in July. I think I allowed the stress of work and striving to do a million things at once get to me. Of course it does hurt that a lot of my free time was either spent boozing or partying or just watching a copious amount of TV and TV shows. Of course in retrospect, TV shows and partying/boozing has been a consistent in my life for a while. What has changed? I guess I am becoming a corporate stooge hellbent on impressing my superiors at work.

Read the rest of this entry »

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

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Hi people! I would like to wish everybody a happy new year first of all. I apologize for not posting for the whole month of December. I had a shitload of deadlines and a review at work which kept me unusually busy and a bit anti-social at times. I did write up a few drafts that I am sure you will get to see in the coming weeks and months.

2014 on a personal note was not a bad year. Made some new friends, lost some friends and family (death was not kind in 2014), broke up and got into new relationships, got a new job, moved to a new apartment and also started on the path to becoming a homeowner some day. It was a year that saw me party quite a bit, procrastinate for Africa and fall behind on tithe (10 percent donation to charity/church), 2014 saw me become somewhat spiritually dead and not quite in tune with my relationship with God. Record low church attendance and devotions and meditation was a bit few and far between. I didn’t mess around with prayer though and in many instances God came through for me in 2014 even though I was definitely not worthy. I think in 2014 I put whatever atheist/agnostic leanings I had behind me and became a believer although I do not think I am religious still.

Looking forward to 2015, I am hoping for peace in Nigeria. I hope for a peaceful election that will bring the type of leaders we need to move forward. On a personal note, I hope 2015 would be the last year of single Sir F. I hope to become a homeowner, finish that long overdue masters and excel at work. I plan to blog more, pray more, tithe more, love more, drink less and be a better person.

Anyway, Happy new year folks. So what were the highlights of your 2014 and what do you hope to achieve in 2015? Sharing is caring!

It’s MY Turn on The3Six5NG *Cue Parade*

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So today is my turn on the3six5ng blog, if you havent heard about the project check out what I wrote the other day about it here. You can skip all of that and just go to the website and read, comment, volunteer here.

I kinda have no idea what I m gonna write and I gotta get it out somewhere between 7 and 9pm naija time. At about 630pm, I ll attempt a 30 minute blitz and see what comes out. Wish me luck folks. 🙂

I live you with book of rhymes by Nas. That’s what I m currently what I m doing. (writing drafts on my computer and throwing it in the bin…) after going one round in the ring.

The Layman’s Guide to being an Stool/Armchair Revolutionary in Nigeria

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Baba Fela

This post came about while I was having a Nas marathon on my laptop while tweeting and reading blogs, I was playing Road to Zion by Damian Marley featuring Nas. There was a line that went thus,

“So save me your sorries, I’m raising an army
Revolutionary warfare with Damian Marley”

Somewhere in the midst of this, it hit me that whatever revolutionary zeal I had for change had been drained out of me. I d say being a news fiend since I ve been back has made me temper what little idealism I had about Nigeria. Its now more cautious idealism. I am now an entrenched armchair revolutionary. Since we don’t really mess with that many armchairs in the Naij, so I figured I must be a stool revolutionary.

What is a stool revolutionary? Basically if you spew all the deep and profound rhetoric about freeing the people and ending poverty while cruising around in your benz and not doing shit to alleviate the suffering of your fellow human being directly then yes you are a Stool Revolutionary. Its not necessarily a bad thing, sometime you inspire the real revolutionaries to do some real ish to free the people! Also since Uncle Bob Marley said we should emancipate ourselves from mental slavery, you are probably helping the people with the mental slavery bit. Cos you all metaphysical and deep like that. Mumu.

So you probably have a pen and paper and wanna take notes on how to become a stool revolutionary, here we go

Own a twitter account and say really deep shit – Share as many deep and philosophical quotes as you can on twitter and facebook. Uplift the people with your meaningful words, quotes, poems and government criticisms because real freedom will start from twitter and facebook.

Own a blog and constantly criticize the government, never suggest solutions or make attempt to get solutions to the right channels

Read all the newspapers and publications and be a walking encyclopedia of Nigerian politics and policy

Sit around with your friends and when you are drinking beer shout while talking about politics

Complain about everything in the country – This is when a waiter working in Mr Biggs didn’t properly warm your rice; you go off about how everything is bad in Nigeria. When someone drives recklessly on the streets of mushin, you say bloody Nigerians forgetting you are a Nigerian.

Think everything is better abroad – You think even the air is better abroad. The oyibo shit smells like lavender. Nah dude, it smells like poo poo by Calvin Klein.

When an opportunity to protest is available, you sit in your house and support the protest “in the spirit” – Peep the video below

When you organize event, invite enough celebrity who only care about your cause to increase their popularity and lose focus of the issue at hand by partying hard.

Combine your revolutionary rhetoric with a distrust of certain tribes and or religion – In reality this makes you less of a revolutionary but a passionate bigot. A true revolutionary is interested in the freedom of all oppressed people

Make sure all your forums/conferences about “freeing” the country only have people from your section of the country, the rest of us are “illiterates”

Anyone who doesnt agree with your views exactly is an idiot

If in a place of work where corruption is rife, either take part in it or shut up and be complacent about it, never protest or stand up for truth or honesty.

Take back your words when your words put you under real threat – If you get arrested by SSS, you stop talking and speaking the truth. All it takes to shut you up is a bunch of rent-a-cops, not even real police.

You only criticize the government, you never want to criticize other institutions – You see the government as an entity that is the root of all problems in Nigeria. Of course we the people have no fault, the people in government must not be people.

When all is said an done, if offered a juicy position in government you take it and stop your criticism.

I m sure my list is definitely not exhaustive, Bet you can think up some guidelines to Stool Revolution (That sounds like a bad case of diarrhea, Stool Revolution, lol)

I leave you with Soul is Heavy by Nneka (This lady speaks truth)