Nigeria

How Nigerian Youth Can Take Over Politics

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I bet you saw that heading and half expected me to talk about how we are going to protest and kick start a revolution either peaceful or violent that topples the current political class. We will do all this and have the country run by intelligent and politically awake youth who will take Nigeria to the promised land and we will live happily ever after. Right? Yeah sounds like something I would say or write 5 to 10 years ago. Naija has sucked most of the idealist out of me,  Not that I don’t believe in the revolution, I think we are due one in this nation. Dear Tuface, smh. Enough said! I believe we all have a right to voice our grievances and put pressure on our political class to effect positive change. Now, would they listen? Doubt it! We are a nation that does not listen to gently and well articulated points or people that are way too gentle, we are the gra gra nation; a nation of Warri no dey carry last, of sharp lagos boys and bini boys, of mallams and Okoros who wont hesitate to cheat you in the market unless you “open eye” for them. This is Nigeria. Equal opportunity loudness, everyone is shouting yet very few actually make sense. Read the rest of this entry »

Why is the Nigerian Music Industry Successful?

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I m tempted to start this blog post with “We the best!!!!! who?!!! we!!!!” but that’s not what this post is about. As a child of the 90s, born in the late 80s and came to adulthood in the 2000s I grew up mostly loving foreign/american music. When I was a kid, I was a big fan of Michael Jackson, had a few VCRs recordings of his music videos and concerts. I used to practice the moves and would bust a move at parties I was invited to as a kid. Then at some point in the 90s I think it was 94’ I fell in love with hip-hop and my younger self really really was a fan of Tupac. I believed in the West Coast part of that beef, finger signs and all. At some point after Tupac and Biggie were killed I moved on to being a Nas and then a Jay-Z fan. Sided with Nas in that beef but that doesn’t matter now. Basically my point is that, although there was Nigerian music being made around this time I don’t think it was as popular. From the top of my head, I remember Ras Kimono, Daniel Wilson, Blacky, Junior and Pretty, Oliver De Coque, Eddy Remedy, Maintain, Plantashun boiz, Tony Tetuila eventually ( Trivia: What Nigerian musicians do you remember from the 90s and early 2000s?). Of course there were outliers like Fela who were popular even then.
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The One Year Hangover from Change

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The messiah of Nigeria and supreme anti corruption crusader who is friend to everybody and belongs to nobody (who cares what he said, he translated hausa to english and thought it would sound as good, it sounds better in hausa) has spent a year in office. We have had a year of the party who came onboard with the change mantra in power. I bet over this weekend we have read thousands of articles about this and I guess this is one more. Before I go ahead I would like to acknowledge that the PDP gave us 16 years of mediocre leadership and oversaw a kleptocracy which led to the limiting of the potential that is Nigeria. Whatever successes they might have had, Nigeria could have been a lot better; before someone enumerates the ways in which PDP succeeded I am neither a PDP nor APC voltron. My name is HRH SIR Farouk and I just want to make esoteric sense because obviously if I wanted to make common sense then what I would say would lack any insight and be the same with what any Tolu, Dike or Hassan would say. Anyway so a year after changing the party in charge and leadership, how do Nigerians feel?

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In Search Of The Great Nigerian Quickie aka Speedforce

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Source: sky.com

We will skip my apology for not writing in a while. I think I captured that in the last blog. Today you got double posts, yay!  This topic is like 4 months overdue in my mind. I say this because the original thought for this came a while back. I will start with a question, what is the Nigerian obsession with having sex/making love/fucking for a long time? To be more specific, what is the obsession of Nigerian men with lasting long in bed? Did they make an announcement that if you dont *pardon my french cos of course french must be a crass language* fuck your girl for over an hour you have not achieved in life? And why do people keep coming up with new aphrodisiacs each and every day? I know this is probably not a uniquely Nigerian problem because there is a big market for herbal viagra and regular alike. The thing to note is that a lot of people who use these ehem performance enhancing medication do not suffer from erectile dysfunction. What happened to the lost and quite satisfying art of the quickie? But missy said she don’t want no one minute man! Read the rest of this entry »

The Gay Conspiracy Against Africa

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Lately at work and everywhere I go here in Nigeria people are talking about how there is some sort of gospel of gayness and America has appointed itself as the prophet charged with spreading this gay agenda to the world. It is apparently an agenda that says we shall all engage in copious amounts of butt sex and be proud. Oh yeah I have also heard a version that says this somewhat heralds the end of the world. To all that I say, how does that affect the price of petrol in Nigeria?
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Sir F’s Idea – CrowdSourcing Governance

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Now that the elections are over and thankfully the Nigerian Apocalypse did not happen, I am sure that everyone like me is looking at the transition and the challenges that are sure to come up in terms of governance over the next few years. Yes there is a wind of change blowing across the nation. The wind of change in my opinion is a wind of “O boy if you mess up we go vote you out o” and not any of the Messianic bullshit that APC sold us in their campaign. We have witnessed a watering down of campaign promises in recent weeks and some very old faces (and yes I m talking about age) surrounding the President-elect. I hope he does not forget that the youth were a major force in the last election. Anyway, Let us leave that matter for Matthias as we say in colloquial speak. Whether change or transformation won, what is important or at least should be important to us as Nigerians is governance and the intended dividends of democracy it should deliver. Call me crazy but I believe we should crowdsource governance.

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Break This Glass If Buhari Wins…

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As I write this, President Jonathan has called to congratulate President-Elect General Muhammadu Buhari on his historic win. It is the first time an incumbent president is losing in Nigeria. Prior to this elections and with the powers of procrastination I started writing a post which lay as a draft in my wordpress about how to win an election in Nigeria and the points I made were thus Read the rest of this entry »