*Insert statutory apology for the length of time since I last wrote* Did you miss me? I missed you all as well. Wish I could promise to write more but I can’t, my writing is as the spirit leads and the spirit has led me to stop writing poetry which seems sad. I need to resurrect that. I have been in the midst of some changes in my life. I have also had a lot to think about in regards to what is going on in Nigeria and how it makes me sad especially for those growing up in this climate of fear brought about by our friends/enemies who shall not be named. Of course as a young man who is quarter to grown up I have also been thinking about the future, love and many related manners. Call it the quarter life crisis of a once upon awkward nerd who discovered romantic love and is searching for that love of a lifetime and wondering if he found it already and left it.
Love is a tricky word or feeling. It seems that everyone is trying to find love, feel love, give love and so on and yet a lot of people do not know what love is. People have come with a set definition of love is and if you don’t meet that criteria then you are accused of not loving them. Why are we so stuck on the butterflies in the tummy type of love? Why are we stuck on the idea that there is one person on this earth of 7 billion people for us? Does that provide you with comfort? Does that keep you warm and fuzzy when you sleep at night like a good coitus and cuddle session? To be honest with you this definition of love scares the heck out of me, maybe because I might have commitment issues? Or maybe it makes me think what if I make the wrong decision and miss out on the one because I was chasing the other one?
I think people do love, fall in love and fall out of love. I also believe that love is not as rigid as we make it. It is possible to love someone without seeing a future with them. It is possible to love more than one person in different ways. It is possible to express your love in different ways to different people. For some people love is like a telephone signal, the farther away you are the weaker the signal. Some people fall in love easy, they can fall out of love with you today and meet someone else and love them within a minute or two, don’t beef them. That is the complication of love and the fact that love is really never enough for a long lasting relationship. Something else has to click as well. I have found in my experience of loving people that I reach a point where something between us doesn’t quite work out or I see something I might not be comfortable with and as a result I end our dalliance. It doesn’t mean I do not love said person anymore, it means I have decided not to be in a relationship with them anymore. I still care for them but over time the romantic feeling dies down, that does not mean the law of okafor wont hold.
Love doesnt have to be “Beh-beh, Lor-lor, Zuciya na, Khaleesi, My heart of hearts and reason for being. You who calibrates the beating of my heart, the essence of who I was, who I am and who I want to be, you make my want to be a better man, I want to be the approximation of perfection that a woman like you deserves, be my all and let us engage in this crazy symbiotic behavior called love.” I know I said love is complicated but we can make it simple by learning to accept the way other people love. Disclaimer: Honarable Senator Farouk has no game (I can chat a girl up and not collect her number or become really close, exchange fluids and not tell her how I feel) and really does not talk like this (points at thing in quotes above) or any way similar to this. Also there is no sub or intended sub in this post, its just me thinking out loud.
So folks, What is love to you? Do you think there is a fixed definition of love? Is love ever enough? Why don’t we all just engage in coitus, viagra induced bliss, reproduce and call it a day?