Farouk’s Guide To An Alcoholic Night/Hangover-Free Morning

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So its Friday and I know some of my readers are looking forward to a legendary night, have some drinks after work, party, hook up and the like. I am an advocate of fun but I am also an advocate of responsible fun (sue me!). It is with this in mind that I have come up with this guide to a night full of unhealthy yet delicious liquor, wine, beer (whatever is your alcoholic poison). This is a good guide if want to a) have a good night b) not puke c) remember the girl you hooked up with or better yet not hook with questionable people d) minimize the risk of waking up with a nasty hangover e) not be ridiculously wasted. If you want to shit faced and wake up struggling to breathe under the weight of two fat guys called Ramone and Yinka then YOLO bro…

1. Food Foundation
The foundation of every legendary night is food. Yes you heard me, food. You might be an alcoholic light weight but if you fortify your system with food you wont go wrong. Personally, this is the most important to me (No wonder I was Food Prefect in Secondary School). Lets assume it’s a Friday and you know you are going to go out that night. Dude/Dudess, it is time you ditch that diet.

Take a wholesome breakfast preferably something with carbohydrates (yam and egg isn’t bad, a bacon/sausage egg and cheese sandwich, fried potatoes/fries and egg, pancakes, steaks and eggs and so on). Notice that the common factor in this equation is egg! Sorry vegans, you can drink and fall in a ditch and I could care less. This pre-drinking breakfast can be repeated the next morning to put you on course for a no hangover day.

Lunch shall be another fortress; I personally go for the pounded yam and egusi/ogbono route. I recommend some form of swallow/fufu and soup combo for my Nigerian/African brethren. If that not available I would go for something with chicken, perhaps chicken and chips or a ridiculous steak and mashed potatoes, carrots and peas, or a big ass burger (think Five Guys or Fat Burger or In and Out for my American folk, Europe? Dunno bro). In summary this should be reasonably heavy.

Dinner depends on how early you want to start drinking. If you started drinking at noon though on a sidenote, my recommendation is that you mix and match what you are drinking with some bar food maybe chicken wings or fingers or suya or shawarma. This is the same for dinner. Don’t make it so heavy that you have a chemical reaction between the food and what you are drinking. I would go for suya or some grilled fish with fries and cole slaw or shawarma and guzzle some nuts (no homo) or Pringles.

2. Vitamin C is your friend/Druggie Solution
Call it drug abuse or what you want. I discovered that a tablet of 500mg/1000mg Vitamin C at breakfast and lunch resulted in no hangover the following morning and in me getting less wasted that night. You can also take the vitamin C the next morning with some aspirin and orange juice followed by coffee to kill the hangover. A multivitamin of the one a day men’s or women’s formula can substitute.

3. Caffeine for the win
A shot of caffeine in form of coffee or the assorted energy drinks available in the market either before and after your drink fest or during (which has been shown to cause some effects in people with heart problems and so on) can do a lot in terms of calming the wastedness and pretty much postponing the onset of the getting wasted and falling asleep on the street symptom till you get home safely in your bed. I sometimes do some before and carry a mug of coffee and fresh orange juice with a splash of energy drink in my car in addition to water for in between venues and for the end of the night. Caffeine is also great the next morning but then so is sleep.

4. Pace yourself bro/Its not a competition
Know your limit and don’t drink too fast. You never want to be the most wasted person in your company. Slow your sip if you feel you might be drinking fast and in case of bottle service, you can one strong mix followed by a weak one then another strong one and if you feel yourself getting out of it stick to the juice part of the bottle service. If anyone tries to pull you into the I can out drink you debate, don’t fall for it. It ain’t worth it bro.

5. Hydrate
Water is important before, during and after. Order some waters in between drinks or with your bottle of Everclear Vodka. Trust me you will thank me later. You can also consume water as you guys change venues and at the end of the night. The next morning’s hangover is partly caused by dehydration (Doctors, back me up!) so it isn’t a bad idea to drink lots of water. I remember once going on a water only fast the morning after and then in the afternoon I had some Indian food and was good as new.

6. Take it on the rocks
This is a no brainer. Take your liquor with ice. It helps.

7. Dance Dance Dance
I have found that sitting around and drinking a lot is a recipe for disaster. In addition to being less fun well you could eventually stand up and its like all the things you drank go up your head. I m not kidding, try drinking for 3 hours sitting and finally standing up. There is a slight dizziness to it. Anyway, dancing is a good way to sweat out some toxins and helps with pacing your drinks. It doesn’t hurt that good dance moves or even silly ones can get you the attention of that lady you have been eyeing all night.

There you have it folks. My guide to an alcoholic night out and hangover free morning. Follow this 4 steps and the Spirit of Friday, Saturday and alcohol might not master you instead you will tame the dragon and drink rum with the expertise of Captain Jack Sparrow. Do you guys do any of these things to avoid getting shit faced/wasted or high as my Nigerians say? What do you do to prevent getting wasted? Did I forget anything? Anybody got any interesting hangover mixes? Also know any songs about alcohol and drinking? Spartaaaaans!!! Share your pre-drink/war strategies


2 thoughts on “Farouk’s Guide To An Alcoholic Night/Hangover-Free Morning

    AIDEE said:
    April 6, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    Maybe I would have made a suggestion…or two, but this post is obviously for the brothers and a comment from a sister might be incriminating…however, say I choose to overlook the obvious reference to brothers and I decide to make a suggestion, I would say you should also go drinking with a friend who must remain sober…you know…so that, should a really nice opposite sex come to distract you or dare your male ego to a drinking contest, you would have a sober friend to take your staggering self home. This should be a fall back plan…fool proof. Getting drunk once in a while is a good thing though, helps you laugh away our pain…just saying. *sigh*

      Sir Farouk responded:
      April 7, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      Choi ehem but it is unisex na, the bro is just a figure of speech. Lol. But if the friend remains sober isnt that sad for them. Unless the friend doesnt drink in the first place. Good suggestion sha *now looking for SU/Jew Friend for outings* Getting drunk is good but I personally dont lie to totally give up control because I can be extremely irrational when drunk.

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