This week I lost a brother and a friend, who passed on at the age of 24. I think most of this week I have been in shock and trying to remember all the memories and great times we had together. We went to secondary school and University together. We weren’t as close in secondary school but were pretty close in University. If there were 5 people who would know where I was on a given night when I was up to no good it was my friend. We weren’t as close as we used to be when I moved back to Nigeria, I guess I can blame the distance for that.
My friend was always full of life, guaranteed to be one of the funniest guys in any room he walked into which made him a pretty great wing man. He was also really smart and a fellow skeptic. I remember giving him his first drink of alcohol. You see up until he came to college he had never had alcohol much like me. I remember it just like yesterday, I think it was a Friday or Saturday night and we had nothing to do. He and two of my close friends at the time, we went to our neighborhood liquor store and since we were underage, the older one amongst us bought a bottle of Jim Beam. We went back to the dorm and sat around drinking and having a deep conversation, I remember my friend wasn’t drinking and I in my characteristic devilish way told him that with his body weight he could drink probably twice what I could and that the 40% whiskey would be like juice. Somehow I convinced him to have his first drink which I believe was about the equivalent of 3 shots of whiskey in a cup. The juice statement became a running inside joke, everytime I gave him one of my amateur mixes he would first take a sip and shout “what is the meaning of this, n*gga this is juice?!” in his characteristic deep voice that had the tone of a distinguished elderly Yoruba chief and then proceed to laugh the goofiest laugh I ever heard.
I remember my first night out clubbing in New York, 3 of us went out that night. I had a fake ID. My friend had one that said he was 40! Lol. The bouncer thought nothing of it and let him in mostly because my guy always gave the air of being advanced. If you didn’t know better you might dobale (Yoruba greeting that resembles a push up) and greet him when he entered a room. Alas when it came to my turn my ID card got confiscated and I was advised by the bouncer to leave before he called the police. I initially felt really bad but that was the thing about my friend he could make you laugh about anything and even laugh at yourself, which sometimes is a difficult task for us pensive folk. We would go on to have many more nights out at college parties, frat parties, lingerie parties (I once hosted one, lol) and so on. When we went to watch 300 my guy slept through the movie but for about a year after we watched the movie every time we entered into a campus party (he and two of my other friends, one camerounian and the other Ghanaian) we would should “Spartans! What is your profession?!!!” and of course respond “Awooo!!!!” We would have what we called symposium where we would drink and discuss philosophy, religion, the meaning of life, relationships and so on. A fellow skeptic he was always questioning. It was some of the best times I had in life. My friend had one of the loudest snores, he once fell asleep in calculus class and the lecturer had to stop the lecture and everyone turned around and looked at him, he woke with the whole class staring at him. Lol!
My friend was a great man. If there is an afterlife I know that he is probably thinking how silly it is that I have been so grieved over his death. The other night I cried. He was a special person and the outpouring of love that followed his passing away proves that. He would have scoffed at some of the platitudes people have used to express how they feel about his death. He would have said, “Guy, why are you forming tears now? Somehow guy!” I bet you have discovered the truth about the afterlife which we always pondered. I will miss you bro. My condolences to your family especially your mother.