Dear Lady Farouk: Much Ado about the Future Wife and Marriage

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Nigerian Wedding

In the grand plan of things and milestones that characterize a man’s life in many societies is the issue of marriage. In our society, a young man is not seen as fully mature, settled or responsible until he has married and started a family. I guess it has to do with a man not being a full man until he can successfully take care and manage someone besides himself. As young men, despite how much we might fool around, engage in player type behavior and all round commitment phobic tom foolery I believe that eventually there will be a point in time when every man starts to think about settling down. Of course, thinking does not necessarily mean you are going to do it.

For some reason, I have started to have these thoughts about the whole marriage thing. It’s quite the interesting concept. The whole till death do us part thing is kind of morbid/macabre if you ask me. I imagine two corpses stuck together in the throes of coitus; obviously the cause of death in this situation is marital bliss or the negation of the marriage contract. Wouldn’t it be interesting if all marriages once voided resulted in immediate death of both parties? Divorce rates will plummet. Heck people would probably stop getting married. We’ll probably all get naked and moist without the whole wedding palaver. That being said, I am not anti-marriage (I am a product of marriage and happen to know married people, see how silly racist/tribalistic people who claim to know someone of a particular race/tribe and use it as a justification for why they aren’t racist/tribalist sound) neither am I getting married anytime in the immediate future. I am just thinking about it, about the future wife. In my short dating life, I have had a case of nearly got married; a few perfect partners at the wrong time in my life and so on. You see I am quite a big fan of how I met your mother (HIMYM). Well, the first 3 seasons or so. Some days, I look left and right in Nigeria today and wonder where the future wife will appear from. *shots fired*. That’s a post for another day. If you do watch HIMYM, I must confess to a lot of times having a Ted like character, basically a silly romantic idealist searching for the one on the streets of Ajegunle.

So it is with that in mind that I have penned or typed this note or letter to my future wife.

Dear Future Lady Farouk,

Hey there, I know we might not have met yet or we have met and I don’t know it. I must confess that you have crossed my mind a lot. I have always wondered whether you would be white, black, blue, green, yellow or orange. Who knows if you will be an alien from another planet? Where will you be from? Who will be your people? Will you be taller or shorter than I or shall we be one of those couples who see each other eye to eye so to say? Will you be heavy set or lithe? I do confess that having a little meat on them bones is quite attractive to this young man but I guess love is blind or just sees things differently. I wonder if you will be blessed with an uncompromising back side, front side or a subtle mixture of both features. Will you be beautiful? Scratch that, that’s a rhetorical question. Of course you will be beautiful to me. Screw with anyone else thinks.

How rude of me, I never asked your name but I guess I already know it in the future. I am going to make a few educated guesses about you. Bear with me, I occasionally dabble in Sherlock Holmes type tomfoolery. I am guessing you are a well-educated lady, you were one of the best students in high school/secondary school. You graduated from university with a very good degree and you are well polished in your speak and manners however you can joke around and get messy when you need to. You might have a postgraduate or advanced degree; you are probably a professional of some sort. You are not only well-educated but you also are well read. You are a voracious reader, and a good conversationalist who can speak on a range of topics from politics to art, science, religion, sports and philosophy. I know this because before we got married we would spend hours having discussions and not noticing as time passed us by. Your range of discussion is not limited to pop culture and who Justin Bieber’s son is dating and whatnot.

Did I mention that I love your cooking and I love cooking for you? Oh yeah I forgot. Sugarpie Honeybun, did I mention that we are one of those exciting power couples who both succeed in their careers but also succeed on the home front. We have 3 kids and each one is a prodigy in their own right. We are raising them as one would raise a renaissance man or woman; we are making sure they are exposed to the sciences, arts, philosophy, music, sports and the whole plethora of things life has to offer. Our family is also engaged in a lot of volunteer work and philanthropy. We own a few skill acquisition centres and believe in giving people the skills to succed. We give out annual scholarships to bright young men and women. It was your idea and I love you for it. I love that you are somewhat religious but not a fanatic, we do pray in our family. You are questioner and doubter like me who respects people’s beliefs. You are not superstitious at all.

You are an afrocentric lady who believes in the idea of pan-africanism. You are not too liberal or too conservative in your political leanings. You believe in the emancipation of the oppressed and in another life you could have been an activist. We travel the world helping to solve problems in our spare time. Just last week, we successfully helped to negotiate terms of surrender for the oppressive government of a country that was engaged in weeks of protests from its own citizens. You love nature but you are at home with technology. You love the environment but you aren’t a green peace nut.

Did I mention that the copulation is amazing? Well not all the time but 1 out of every 3 times is amazing. The passion is electrifying. You are very open-minded in the bedroom and always keep me guessing.

I have obviously rambled enough. Till we meet ma Cherie.

A Bientot
Sir Farouk

Anyway, I have said my one or two piece, what would you say to your future spouse? Wife? Husband? Partner? What would you like them to be like or how do you imagine them to be? What do you seek in a prospective spouse? I m all ears/eyes.


19 thoughts on “Dear Lady Farouk: Much Ado about the Future Wife and Marriage

    Kiah said:
    July 23, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    na wa oh… ‘copulation’ odikwa?

    this was too sweet…you have to write some realisticity into this oh! ah ah

    loved it…

      Sir Farouk responded:
      July 25, 2012 at 4:14 am

      My dear, I just have great expectations. Copulation sounds somewhat better than saying sex na. For me this is realistic, as a “romantic” that’s my story and I m sticking to it.

    hajjoh said:
    July 23, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    This is a great articule, thank you for writing it. I pray you find the love that you want and the love you have been waiting for and more.

      Sir Farouk responded:
      July 25, 2012 at 4:11 am

      Thank you! That is indeed a powerful prayer. I wish you the same 🙂

    esco said:
    July 25, 2012 at 4:27 am

    you must add, afrocentric, lol

      Sir Farouk responded:
      July 29, 2012 at 8:02 am

      Absolutely! I thought I mentioned Afrocentric. It also helps if she loves Lion King!

    African Mami (@afrikanmami12) said:
    July 25, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    This your lady it seems is one sophisticated woman. Cheii!! I like your taste sir!! I really does!! 🙂

    I imagine my spouse to be very very very very calm, cool and collected, monied and generous, educated and ambitious. Entrepreneurship our saving grace! —>wink wink!

      Sir Farouk responded:
      July 29, 2012 at 8:03 am

      I have taken that hint and started preparations for the nuptials 🙂

    nonso said:
    July 28, 2012 at 3:37 am

    This guy….coded applying for a chic…lol
    Nice read

      Sir Farouk responded:
      July 29, 2012 at 7:58 am

      Haba my brother, how can I be applying for chic? Lol. Maybe I m putting out an recruitment ad and codedly listing the qualifications for the job.

    worshipandswag said:
    August 4, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    I agree with commenter Nonso! I sense major scoping in this post, ahn ahn! You just listed all your specs in a bid to disqualify some poor hopefuls….in a very nice way of course. Good read, lol! 😀

    muneerah87 said:
    August 14, 2012 at 5:37 am

    Just discovering this blog…how?!
    I imagine my spouse to be like this letter.. and i’m a girl. I especially like the part about religion…fanaticism…philantropy. That’s a woman after my own heart right there.

    There is hope afterall | My African Journey said:
    August 14, 2012 at 5:46 am

    […]… […]

    skittenn said:
    September 15, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this post. Beautifully written. May you find your lady Farouk 🙂

    obafuntay said:
    September 16, 2012 at 1:04 am

    I just kept saying “Amen” and claiming these prophesies all through, or rather, after the Alien line. As for me, she must be human!
    Oh and in addition, she knows how to bake a good cake.


      obafuntay said:
      September 16, 2012 at 1:07 am

      One more thing, she isn’t taller than I am.

    Nma aka Nazzy said:
    November 27, 2012 at 11:35 am

    I love this article… I’m a full-time romantic (I pause kissing scenes to take pictures of ’em so I have loads of pix that r kissing scenes from movies) and a pro fantasizer. #NoRegrets. So I love to see guys whose thoughts are in sync with mine. I do have a similar article titled “letter to him”… And nice blog btw.
    P.S- u do have great taste in women oo. 😀 Now I knw some of the things u guys r lookin out 4… Lemme go and work on myself. Cheers

    […] while back I wrote a letter to Lady Farouk, If you missed it you can find it here. I have been told by some that she is not real and cannot possibly exist. Well in my defence I […]

    Achieng' said:
    November 7, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    i have just discovered this blog and I must say I love it enjoyed reading this alot it made me smile I hope you meet the woman of your dreams

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