The Ten Commandments of Setting P

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ten commandments

Setting P, What is it? Have you done it? What exactly is the P? How does one set it? My dear friends, I m as mystified as you but you know what? I am going to give it a shot. Now, I need you to do one more thing, imagine the words I am writing are being read out in a ridiculous British accent. Tally ho, Lets go!

Setting P is a Nigerian Slang or term used in reference to the male female relationship dynamic. It is the art of picking up girls, women, ladies (whatever the politically correct term is). Of course I dont mean the literal picking up of girls I mean the art of seduction or the science of getting someone to want to copulate with you. Setting P can refer to the witty banter and conversational tactics men use to get women. For example, If you are talking to a girl with the aim of engaging in some bedroom algebra where you solve for triple X and she is interested and your game is working on her, then you are setting P. Setting P is only used in cases where the seduction is working or seems to be working. If you are striking out then bro you are not setting P. In certain context I believe Setting P could even refer to the art of love making.

With that said, what is the P? My guess is as good as yours. And no, I don’t think it refers to the male member because women can set P, after all. In the broader sense P is an ambiguous term and has many uses in the young Nigerian lingo, “Whats the P” translates as “Whats up or what is happening”, “Thats the P” translates as “Thats nice”. See its a versatile word, really flexible like a lady who does yoga. My first encounter with the term was when I heard a song by Naeto-C, “You know my P”

Now that we have defined Setting P and the P, in the spirit of the holidays, giving and ish, I shall present to you the 10 Commandments of Setting P. Coming by these commandments were not an easy feat ladies and gentlemen. Like the biblical Moses I had to climb on the Mountain many times (the bed) and commune with more experienced people in the game for 40 days and 40 nights to bring this about. So here we go. Now as you read these commandments imagine a James Earl Jones Type Voice announcing it to you

Thou Shalt toe the line between slightly flirtatious, provocative and interesting (basically dont dull)
Perfect your sexy voice, sarcasm, humor. And no, speaking excessive phonetics ( Nigerian term referring to speaking in foreign accents, typically American or British and most of the time not very good accents) are not what makes sexy unless you ascertain that the person you want to set P with is turned on by such. Examples of such people are the ajebos or ajebo wannabes. An ajebo is typically a spoiled brat, the rarity in Nigeria of a middle class, upper middle class or upper class raised kid who was sheltered from the realities of the lower classes and proceeds to adopt a snobbish lifestyle, mannerism and outlook, speaking in foreign accents and only eating at posh places and so on. Basically the Nigerian version of an uppity negro.
It might be obvious but “Oi you, are you gonna bang?” is not the best pickup line. Skate the line between flirtatious, provocative and interesting. If you must say something dirty, allude to it dont be overtly obvious for goodness sake. Litter your speech with double entendres or even the elusive triple entendre. Of course you shouldnt be too vague as to utterly confuse your audience. Gauge the reasoning faculty of said lady while speaking and suitably adjust your toasting skills because if too many of your flirtatious innuendos and allusions and attempts at humor fly over her head, you are not setting P my dear friend you are dulling your shine bro.

Thou Shall Not be don’t be too persuasive or persistent (The Nigerian Man Stereotype)
Oga sir, When a woman says no it means no. It doesnt mean follow said girl or keep trying over and over again. Do you know how insane you look mathematically? There are millions of ladies on earth and you are making an absolute fool of yourself over a girl you just made who didn’t fall for your game. The optimum amount of tries you are allowed when trying to set P with a lady is two times and if you must persist try a third time but It is frowned upon.
Why this commandment? Apparently Nigerian men are super persistent. We need to rep our hood better guys, the key to successful setting of P especially in a social setting several women is to move from one lady to another, if one rejects your play. Modify it and move on to another. Any successful setter of P has suffered multiple rejections so have no shame in your game, try once or twice if she no ‘gree, yimu the babe and move along.

If 1st means of contact was not in person thou shall slowly progress to voice and then face to face meeting to build up expectation
This might be a no brainer but if you meet someone online or were given their phone number by a friend. For your own safety, it is advised to do due diligence on your target before trying to set P with said person. Find out what you can. Also, never rush for a face to face meeting, get a sense of the babe before you suggest a face to face meeting. You don’t want to waste your time, time is money and my guy you are not a millionaire. The best way to get a sense of the babe is to chat with her online, through text, bbm, or even phone calls which should be the last bastion before the face to face meeting.

Thou shall never overestimate your worth, if anything it is better to underestimate your worth
Now we know we are living in the age of the “Kanye”, every man feels he is the shit. Not only the shit but that special brand of organic shit that is fed only cruelty free grass and hence his shit dont stink. However I present you with a different point of view, confidence is not the same as cockiness. In order to impress a lady dont ever overestimate your worth. Once again, this is some shit your momma should have taught you but so is “thou shall not steal”. You should not overestimate your wealth, power, bedroom prowess and so on because dude eventually the truth will out. If you feel you are champion scammer, eventually the lady will out you when she wants to eat at the fanciest restaurant in town then boys will begin to tell long stories of how their ATM Card isnt working. That being said I m not calling for over humility, you are allowed to blow your own horn once in a while but within reason and of course based upon how you perceive the IQ of your target.

Stingy dates or outings are not the P
Corollary to the commandment above, we know it is a recession and boys are not smiling but still dont be over stingy. Cut your coat according to your size. This is something many of my Nigerian brothers dont do, you find many dude wearing oversized suits and come across looking ridiculous. Yes that was a metaphor. Plan your outing for setting P according to what you have in your pocket because nothing dries up panties faster than a dude who takes a lady out and starts complaining about his bank account or the price of things at the place. If it is a case of you have never been to the place, find a way to stylishly duck out without hurting your reputation. Although, you should always scout out a place. I know I do. If the girl is the one who ambushed you with the place, I dont think her P is worth setting (see I used Setting P differently here).

Thou shall never be too serious, the road to a person’s pants are paved with humor not stone faces
Some guys frown when they are out with a girl like it is meant to be cool. My Nigerian people when has looking constipated or like someone gave you a liter of cod liver oil to drink become sexy? It isn’t, please learn the art of shrouding emotions. Good technique is to raise your eye brows and have a mischievous smirk on your face if you cant smile. Another good idea is to say what is on your mind even if it is ridiculous because you know what it might make her laugh. Charm her with your sense of humor. Ladies, it is impolite to frown when a guy is taking you out. Respect the man’s effort unless he insulted your grand mother in the village because if you didnt want to be there or have a meal with the guy you should have found a way to post him (post means to stand someone up or give an excuse for not making a meetup).

Thou shall flatter but pumping the head of the girl/boy you are setting P with to the point of disrespect is not the P
Some people complain when their girlfriend or boyfriend disrespect them and many at times it is because these people put these people on a pedestal. You pumped the girl full of flattery and unrealistic compliments so much that she is now believing her own hype and is doing yanga for you. By no means am I advocating putting anyone down. It is a beautiful thing to adore someone and let them know how you feel but never let it become a daily praise session. Is she your God? The fact is that by over flattering her she will see you subconsciously as a ‘yes’ man, a praise singer not different from the traditional praise singers that gather at the emir/oba’s palace to tell him he is the bright and morning star when he isn’t.

Thou shall never Vex, Setting P is never that serious even if you are undergoing a spell in the sahara desert when it comes to panties coming off.
Getting unreasonably upset over not being able to set P is going to guarantee that you will be able to set less and less P. It is like you are sending wifi signal to all the ladies, the name of your network is “I have low self esteem and so dont set P with me.” As human beings of course we are allowed to get upset over things but dont let it be your default. If you got a girl and you are always losing your cool around her eventually she will lose you and find someone better. Also this commandment applies to setting P in general, if a girl does not want to set P with you it is not a reason for you to insult her or call her names, it isnt that serious my man. That is, excuse my french, ‘bitchassness’. Lets keep it real and keep it rolling, the P aint that serious, it can be set in so many ways.

Thou shall master the art of the short game versus the long game, never close too early
When some people have undergone a long period of konji they are unable to tell the difference when the P that is being set is a long one or a short one. Let me clarify, there is the type of P that is more of a pick up at a bar variety as in you spit such good game on the first meeting and it works while some others are the culmination of a series of communications. Both could lead of course to happily ever after in both the long and short term (happy ending anyone?). An obvious example is if you meet someone and they are asking you where you live and whether you live alone, dude it is not the time to talk marriage it means if you say the right words you will be pumping some hydraulics. On the other hand dont be in a rush to invite a girl to your place for bedmatics or you are going to look like a perv especially if you just met her and that is not how she rolls.

En Finalement (Finally), in the spirit of not getting STD in the process of setting P, abstinence or contraceptives should become your best friend. Reckless Segsy time is not the P.
Of course in the course of writing this I have alluded to segsy time many times and so the final commandment pertains to sealing the deal. First and foremost, if you are hoping for repeat business you should try to perform wonders on the first time at least be mediocre not terrible. Enough said about that. Of course setting P with a long term goal is what the common folk call courting or boyfriend/girlfriend. Either way my advice to you is to practice abstinence or use contraceptives to reduce unwanted babies and prevent STDs. There is no point setting P if you are going to catch an STD and die is it? That is the end of the reckless player, avoid that and find that lady that you want to settle down with and ish.

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24 thoughts on “The Ten Commandments of Setting P

    Sophia Marsden said:
    December 21, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Some interesting cultural insights there.

      Sir Fariku responded:
      December 25, 2011 at 6:03 pm

      Thank you, hope you enjoyed it

    Dolapo said:
    December 21, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    Lmao had me cracking all the way through. Elders distilling knowledge. Keep some secrets for the inducted lol

    Single Nigerian Man said:
    December 22, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    Lol… Nice one. U landed now?

      Sir Fariku responded:
      December 22, 2011 at 7:00 pm

      Yes boss I don land o. Its good to feel some heat and nice weather

    Talabi oluwatimileyin said:
    January 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    Nice one tho.

    Pee-ter said:
    January 25, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    damn as a veteran P setter I cosign all these commandments!

    Daisy Tai said:
    March 26, 2012 at 3:05 am

    Lmao……nice one…..men our no is no ooo

    African Mami (@afrikanmami12) said:
    March 27, 2012 at 3:23 am

    iDIED a thousand deaths of laughter. BRILLIANT!

    afeminineheart said:
    March 30, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    This is awesome..lmfao!!

    Eve said:
    April 12, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    Lol 😀

    […] is that you form a sort of camaraderie with other job hunters. Heck you might even meet someone to set p with at one of these things. It must be that misery loves company thing people keep talking about […]

    mllexbonrue said:
    July 21, 2012 at 8:58 am

    smh

    smh vigourously.

    The commandments are the P though…I particularly dig the final part.

    SMH…

    Lmao

    lissa said:
    July 25, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Hahaha…you just cracked M̶̲̥̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ up ąЙd̶̲̥̅̊ this is 99.5% true

      Sir Farouk responded:
      July 29, 2012 at 8:04 am

      Glad you enjoyed it!

    ope adediran said:
    September 9, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Setting P is not good, that is why there are so many failed marriages, when you set P with someone and eventually don’t get married to them but still yearn for them . . . .

    kanu said:
    October 13, 2012 at 7:27 am

    Very beautiful language register. I enjoyed the writer’s diction more than the tutorial itself. More fluid to ur joints, bro.

    St Naija said:
    July 11, 2013 at 4:12 am

    Reblogged this on naijawriter and commented:
    This shoyld make you Loooooooool

    Taiwo J Orilogbon (@logbon72) said:
    July 24, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    If the girl is the one who ambushed you with the place, I don’t think her P is worth setting (see I used Setting P differently here)… EPIC.. I like the sense of “intelligence” in this statement.

    mental disorder said:
    July 31, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Very Interesting! Thanks

    lekzyorlex said:
    September 22, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    Lwkmd! My God! This is brilliant……all points are absolutely SPOT ON! More power to ur elbow bro

    Dan007 said:
    October 23, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    Damn! D person who wrote this is quite the genius…nice

    Ibironke said:
    July 5, 2016 at 8:10 pm

    Lmaooooo! This is amazing!!! I laughed till I cried. So real and relatable. Love it!!!

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