Musings on Singularities: When time stands still in Human Relationships

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pinky and the  brain

Typically in the field of mathematics, a singularity of a function is the point at which the function ceases to be well behaved or well defined. I was sitting in my Engineering Analysis class when my synapses decided to make a connection. So borrowing upon this premise, I will go ahead to define a singularity in the context of this post as a point where time and space cease to be linear, well defined and well behaved.

You know how in certain Rom Coms (Think something with Matthew McCoughnahey, I refuse to use my all powerful google to check the spelling of his name) when the leading man or woman meets the person they will fall in love with, everything in the movie goes to slow motion. Corny right? Hellz yeah. It can be posited that this slowing of time is a prelude to time actually standing still. But you see not only does time stand still but at the particular moment in time, that person is the singularity of your life. In her (presuming a male, cos I m an “as the crow flies” type of dude), you see your past, present and future all fulfilled. You see the mistakes of your past corrected, the contentment of your present assured and the happiness of your future guaranteed. You see sunshine everywhere and rainbows in the sky. It doesn’t really matter the realities on ground. At that given point in time, you ignore the Newtonian precept of space and time and approach a more relativistic view of time in which time slows down the closer you get to the speed of light. Eventually time should stand still at the speed of light and the laws of physics as we know it cease to apply.

What is the point of this particular post? You know I often wonder how or even why my mind comes up with such far fetched analogies. I was thinking of a way to conceptualize the slow motion associated with many a romantic comedy and translate this into the bigger relationship dynamic. I am aware of other ways in which a singularity is defined but those definitions might be moot in the context at hand. So Lets explore other situations where singularities occur

1. That moment in time when you realize that home girl or home boy was playing you for the fool.

You see whether it be a case of you finding out your partner or significant other cheated on you or has been playing ponzi with your joint savings, at that moment in time everything slows down for you and you begin to see past, present and future all at once. How? Dude, you begin to mentally take flash backs to times when you could have gotten a clue as to your partners behavior, at the same time you are assessing the present situation to make sure you arent dreaming (no bro you arent dreaming, you just caught your wife cheating) while looking into the future and seeing what your next moves are (Are you going to go all old testament and smite your partner or will you go all new testament and turn the other cheek?) in the immediate future or if there is a future at all for you and your partner (you see sometimes a singularity occurs at the end of time where there is no future at all)

2. Taking you a step back in time from the situation in 1. above, when after spotting said girl before you even started you decide to approach.

Why is this a singularity? Well at this point in time you mind is doing some complex permutations, you are going through your repertoire of pick up lines or things you have said in the past that have worked, you are at the same time assessing the lady in question and trying to think what approach will best work for the said lady while also thinking of your next steps should she a) reject your advances b) play hard to get c) falls head over heels for you. See, you would think option c) is ideal but that comes with the responsibility of setting a date or hang out session that is if you arent a bad ass and “set the P” on the first meeting (Nigerian slang for hook up). That also comes with its own thoughts. But you see my point, at that point in time you decide to approach the lady, time slows down and your brain processes the past, present and future to come up with an optimized plan.

3. So you are now dating said lady, ah! Alas another singularity occurs.

So you are now dating and are in the process of getting to know the said lady. I m very sure that apart from setting P, you are constantly analyzing the lady’s past at least what you can garner from you conversations. If you are extra creepy with a side of french fries you will do a thorough internet search to find out if she was a mental patient in a former life. And of course you are looking in the present for signs of compatibility and crazy (of course there is always the right type and wrong type of crazy). You are also looking at the future and seeing where the said lady fits with your plans. Even if you are not the marrying type, dude believe me you are thinking of the future. Like how long can I date this girl, would she be cool with my lifestyle. I wonder what her plans for the future are? And so on and so on.

The interesting thing about this singularity business is that it can apply to almost anything. Relativistic time dilation occur a lot in our lives. I am sure you know of many situations where time seemed to slow down and act all funny, perhaps that time you pooped on yourself in primary school. It could be that point when you decided to become an Engineer or writer, the veritable fork at the crossroads (not sure if thats the right saying).

Another application of said theorem is in decision making. If you assume every time you make a decision that you are at a singularity then you are bound to make better decisions if you conciously consider the past, present and future ramifications of each potential decision.

Here is a video from big bang theory, Raj’s Date with the Deaf Girl. Enjoy.

Often, people dont fully read this stuff, dont blame you. But I would like to hear about other relationship singularities or life singularities in general when time seems to stand still.

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5 thoughts on “Musings on Singularities: When time stands still in Human Relationships

    TheRustGeek said:
    October 28, 2011 at 3:14 am

    LOL.. Singularities…..
    Another singularity occurs in the immediate vicinity of a break-up point on the continuum I think, especially if it wasn’t a really messy one… Quite a few blokes I’ve known have been sucked into a year long phase of analysing past, present and future as through a haze…

      Sir Fariku responded:
      October 28, 2011 at 3:28 am

      Lol! Definitely been there bro. That’s actually a serious Singularity. If care is not taken can be a time where men become serious ashawos while analyzing past, present and future.

    […] down to an almost imperceptible crawl, leaving you with the numbness of disbelief and a full blown Fariku Singularity. You replay that final scene in your head again and again until it is etched in your mind like an […]

    Single Nigerian Man said:
    November 4, 2011 at 7:05 am

    Suppressed emotions lead to a big bang in our world sometimes… A situation that could lead to a prolonged state of madness.

    » Full circle (the anatomy of a heart break) said:
    June 6, 2014 at 6:29 am

    […] down to an almost imperceptible crawl, leaving you with the numbness of disbelief and a full blown Fariku Singularity. You replay that final scene in your head again and again until it is etched in your mind like an […]

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